Your Back-to-School Guide

Registered clinical counsellor Laura Henderson works as an elementary school counsellor as well as a counsellor in a private BC-based practice. She’s also a mother and former teacher. One key tip she gives to families is to become familiarized with their school.

Will it be your child’s first year of school? “Many young children have never been to a school before,” Henderson explains. “Visit more than once in the summer and make it fun.” She suggests playing on the playground, taking whichever route and mode of transportation you’ll be doing daily come September. She also recommends teaching children important safety information, like the school property boundaries. Henderson also urges parents to attend any school orientations offered.

2. Set up your home

Henderson recommends designated spaces in your home for school gear, like where you’ll hang backpacks and store lunchboxes. It’s also smart to create an allocated homework space for older students with school supplies but without unnecessary distractions.

3. Practice for independence

Little hands can struggle with everything from buttons to Thermoses. Henderson suggests practising handling lunchtime gear such as lunchboxes, snack containers, and water bottles. Since eating time at school is likely shorter than what kids are used to at home, you may also want to use a timer to show kids how long they’ll have to eat. Practising the process until they’re comfortable helps to alleviate anxiety.

Also practise taking shoes on and off, pulling off pants and underwear (to use school bathrooms solo), and doing up coats and other outerwear. It’s easy for us grownups to assume that these tasks are simple, but they can cause worries in young children who are still mastering fine motor skills.

4. Help with worries

When kids share their back-to-school anxieties, we should validate them rather than dismiss them, says Henderson. Sometimes parents jump too quickly into solving their children’s problems without first being supportive. Concerns that might not seem big to us can be very big for our kids. Validating their emotions shows them that you are a safe person to open up to and teaches them how to name and voice their feelings.

According to Henderson, a common worry for young kids is missing home, while older kids may worry more about friendships. Teenagers have the added responsibility of planning for their futures, such as post-secondary applications. These are all valid concerns that require love and nurturing.

5. Create a routine

A good morning routine is a must! Many things can be done the night before to help save time and mental bandwidth in the morning. Choose outfits, place the correct outerwear by the door, pack backpacks, and make lunches, so you can grab-and-go in the morning. Practise the morning routine with the kiddos before the big day.

6. Be strategic

Sarah Robertson-Barnes is an Ontario-based mother, writer, former science teacher, and founder of Sustainable in the Suburbs, a sustainability education and consulting business. When it comes to back-to-school shopping, Robertson-Barnes assures us that we don’t need as much as we think we do. “Parents are very heavily marketed to,” she explains.

Going through what we already have saves resources and money. In the weeks leading up to September, have your child try on their fall clothes (including outerwear) to see what you actually need.

The same goes for school supplies. “Shop your house first!” says Robertson-Barnes. “This teaches good life skills to our kids too, like saving money and using what you have.”

7. Choose secondhand first

When it’s time to shop, consider secondhand stores for supplies, clothes, and gear. “Thrift stores can have a really robust craft area,” advises Robertson-Barnes.

For older kids who want specific types of clothing or footwear, secondhand shopping is still possible. Robertson-Barnes recommends using resale apps, websites, and online groups, as well as high-end consignment stores, to shop for specific brands.

Henderson emphasizes how wonderful it is for children to feel invested in the back-to-school process. Letting kids choose their supplies and clothes can help them prepare for school mentally and emotionally. Robertson-Barnes agrees about the benefits of involving kids in the process: they can come shopping in person, or even help in the online hunt.

8. Get a good night’s sleep

Although summer bedtimes may be relaxed, Henderson recommends working toward a fixed bedtime routine several weeks before school begins. She also encourages parents to look up how many hours of sleep their child needs based on their age. Speak to your primary health provider if you have concerns about your child’s sleep.

Bedtimes can also be a time of treasured family traditions. Henderson’s family reads together in the evening, and they also regularly meditate to relax before bedtime.

9. Embrace downtime

“Every child needs downtime,” Henderson explains. “This can be by themselves or with you.” A snack and a relaxing activity after school is a great way to transition from school to extra-curriculars. Henderson isn’t opposed to screentime, as long as it is intentional and supervised.

When selecting extra-curricular activities, consider what your child enjoys and what might be too much. Activities can be wonderful for physical fitness, learning new skills, and socializing, but overscheduling can be exhausting for parents and kids alike. Every child and every family is different, so try to find a balance that feels right for you.

10. Give your kids grace

“We ask so much of kids,” Henderson explains. “They drastically change their environments every year, with a new teacher, new classmates, a new classroom, and sometimes a new school. Imagine if we changed jobs every year—it’s stressful!”

At the beginning of the school year, many kids experience big emotions (and even meltdowns) after school. Some experts call this restraint collapse. “There is so much stimulation and so many demands on kids at school,” says Henderson. “Your child has worked hard all day at school to keep it together. After school, in their safe space at home, their emotions come out.”

Henderson reminds us that behaviour is communication. Our kids are trying to tell us something. “As parents, we can expect this and be gentle with them. Transitions are tough, and parents don’t often give enough weight to this.”

This article was originally published in the August 2024 issue of alive magazine.