The Bravery of Pursuing Radical Self-Care

To understand this gap in lived experiences, look no further than the societal messages women receive throughout their lifetimes about how to look, think, and behave. There are the impossible beauty standards, of course, but there are also the subtler cultural beliefs that position women as weaker, duller, and less capable.

Kambolis points to several poignant examples in When Women Rise. Consider, for instance, that most women, have been taught from a very young age to travel in groups, park in well-lit areas, clutch their keys when walking to their cars, and maintain a watchful eye over their drinks at the bar.

“We live in an oppressive cultural system that has women and girls all over the planet, in every country of the world, facing higher rates of gender-based discrimination, violence, workplace inequity,” Kambolis says. “And these extraordinary struggles leave women everywhere experiencing so much fear.”

This, Kambolis maintains, is why stress is actually a feminist issue. Citing everything from workplace microaggressions to the cultural messaging that tells women being a stay-at-home mom is not an empowered choice, Kambolis has found that women’s anxieties often stem from gender inequalities. This problem is then exacerbated by toxic self-imposed beliefs that shame women for their feelings and experiences.

“So many women believe that their stress and anxiety is due to weakness within themselves and that these things are somehow their fault,” Kambolis says, “What I want women to know is that they are part of a big and vast cultural system that has them breathing the air of stress. The busyness and externally driven culture that we find ourselves in is fundamentally unsupportive of the qualities that we need to thrive. Authenticity and self-care are radical acts because our cultural messages constantly tell us that we need to be different than we are. Living as the fullest version of ourselves is a brave act in a culture where the messaging is that we need to become the new-and-improved version.”

Embracing the healing power of radical self-care

Kambolis believes this paradigm is shifting. Burnt out by a system that continually leaves them feeling more “hurried and worried than ever before,” women are forging a new path for themselves—one built on the principles of radical authenticity, self-realization, and self-care.

“People are beckoning for a gentler, wiser way of living,” Kambolis says. “We yearn for more self-care, more connection and greater presence.”

Kambolis wrote When Women Rise with this goal in mind. Filled with healing meditations, success stories, invitations to practice, and scientific research, Kambolis’ book is a comprehensive guide for women on a journey to embrace their wholeness. Each part inspires readers to tend to the interconnected triad of their minds, bodies, and souls.

“In the chapter on sleep, for example, I included practices that also honor our inner world,” Kambolis says. “Because when we’re struggling with sleep, we're not just struggling with our body’s ability to enter the sleep state. Oftentimes, there are inner conditions at play. That might be a core belief that sleep is a waste of time. So, every chapter incorporates questions and practices to go inward and better understand all of these facets of our lives.”

Making self-care accessible

While the topic of self-care for women has been addressed ad nauseam, When Women Rise brings a fresh perspective to a topic that can sometimes feel overwhelming, inaccessible, and unnuanced. Kambolis begins by addressing the big-picture issues that prevent women from thriving, empowering readers to avoid the pitfalls that prevent them from consistent practice and set them up to fail.

“Self-care becomes just another expression of perfectionism for many women,” she says. “When we’re not meditating every single day or if we’ve somehow fallen off our intention, the critical, egoic mind loves to tell us that we're not enough. It’s this core sense of unworthiness that causes us so much pain.”

Instead of making self-care into a competitive sport, Kambolis encourages women to “shake off the cloak of perfectionism.” This means starting small and where it’s easiest to begin. Her favorite entry point is one that everyone can access.

“We take 20,000 breaths a day,” she says. “That's 20,000 invitations to be present and in the moment. I usually say start with the breath because it roots us in the steadiness of the moment and returns us to ourselves.”

Kambolis has seen the transformative impacts simple self-care practices can have on women but says that consistency is key. Her recommendation for busy women (i.e., all women) is to proceed with flexibility, patience, and plenty of grace.

“The practices that you weave into your life are wholeheartedly unique to you,” she says. “When we move deeply into our own practice, cultivating joy, steadiness, and wisdom, it acts as a ripple within water, reaching far and wide. If it's hard to do that work for yourself, you might consider allowing yourself a moment of meditation for the benefit of all beings."