Detox Your Life

“It takes commitment to ourselves, emotional well-being, and self-care practice to release the urge to stay caught up in old bad habits. Leaning into self-trust here is vital,” says wellness coach Alexandra Elle, author of After the Rain: Gentle Reminders for Healing, Courage, and Self-Love. “As someone who came from a pretty traumatic upbringing, it was much easier for me to lie in that role of victim, of someone who had things happening to them.”

It took Elle, who grew up feeling unloved, years to change her narrative. Over time, she shed numerous limiting beliefs by testing them through self-reflection, often in the form of writing, and with direct action: standing up to a temperamental supervisor, quitting an unsatisfying job, pursuing her passions for a living.

“For me, change has always been a source of annoyance but absolutely necessary,” says the 31-year-old mother of three, who lives outside Washington D.C. “Change stretches us, and it’s not always in this lovely, whimsical way we see on social media or that maybe we see from someone who’s been in therapy or what have you, for years. It’s always a process.”

It’s also unique and lacks a universal prescription. “It’s really hard to say, 'Do this, and then this,' because we’re all so very different,” Elle notes. “But I think one thing I would say as words of encouragement is that we are our own inner experts, and if we dig deep enough, we will be able to tap into what we need.” Elle's personal transformation has paved the way for her to lead self-exploration workshops globally, helping others recognize where they are stuck, so that they too can recast their stories and evolve.

“Letting go allows us to make room for new things and new beginnings, so we have to make space, we have to let go,” Elle says. “Not everything deserves to or should journey with us for the rest of our lives.”

Lighten up

Ingrained patterns show up in practical ways too.

Instagram blogger Cadie Piecuch (@naturallycadie) spent much of the past decade focused on simplifying her life in order to exist more sustainably and healthfully. She adopted a plant-based diet and cut back on consumerism, for example. The process allowed her to identify and discard ill-serving tendencies and manifest her dreams.

To wit, in her early 20s she wrote a letter to her older self. This year, on her 30th birthday, she opened it to discover she'd realized many of her hopes, including getting married and starting a blog that gained a following.

“I'm constantly looking for ways to be better,” says Piecuch, who lives in Vancouver Island, Canada. Recently, that aspiration took the form of decluttering her clothing collection and earmarking items for donation that didn't spark joy or hadn't been worn in a year. The next day, “I just felt like a huge weight was lifted, and now I actually know what's in my closet rather than having a whole bunch of pieces everywhere.”

She also recently cut about nine inches off her hair. Piecuch, who hadn't gotten “an honest-to-God” haircut in a decade, gave herself two years to prepare for the change—despite the fact that her locks, which reached her low-back and had thinned as a result, “didn't even look good,” she says.  “I was like, ‘Why am I even holding on to this? What is the point?’” she recalls.

Both experiences reminded her of what truly feeds her well-being: nature, eating good food, taking hot baths. “I felt like I needed to have long hair to be beautiful and be feminine. But having healthy hair is so much more important than having dead length. It’s kind of a symbolism for life, isn’t it? Getting rid of things that no longer serve you, in every aspect: toxic relationships or things in your house that are unneeded—or anything, really.”