Too Much of a Good Thing

I have a confession to make: I’ve never been one for moderation. I’m the gal who falls for the in-store bonus offer that requires the purchase of three times more product than needed, just to get 10 percent off. I choose the extra-dry formula body lotion even though my skin isn’t that dry, because why not have more of a good thing?

So when it comes to foods responsible for good health, I tend to latch on to the superfood of the moment and eat it like it’s going out of style. Remember when blueberries made the scene as antioxidant powerhouses? My body was so full of berries–in juice, on cereal, and in smoothies–I was about to turn into Violet Beauregarde.

And speaking of chocolate factories, you’ve no doubt noticed that chocolate, the most popular treat of all time, is set to topple the jolly blueberry’s reign as the health food du jour. The classic treat turns out to be a source of polyphenols, flavonoids, and bioactive compounds, touted as good for everything from heart disease to the blues. This might be good news for most chocolate lovers, but it’s bad news for me. Chocolate’s beneficial effects are best enjoyed in a restrained, near-medicinal form of a small square of the dark stuff each day.

So when’s the last time you ate one square of chocolate? I can tell you when I did–when I polished off the last square in the entire bar! This deliciously good news is going to cause a lot of trouble. For example, I now know that chocolate is good for me, and so are almonds. Therefore, it follows that I should sit down and eat a box of chocolate-covered almonds with my afternoon tea.

The shift from junk-food chocolate to the healthier options, luckily, is a transition I made some time ago. Although occasionally sidelined by a craving for the sugary, not-real-chocolate-at-all fare of the candy counter, at least I’m usually overindulging on quality as well as quantity.

Looking deeper, my overdoing it might be a subconscious backlash of sorts. The watchwords balance, moderation, and variety make me prickle in ways that have little to do with food. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to be mature or make well-informed choices. The kid inside still equates good sense with getting old. I’m already well on my way–I don’t go out dancing and drinking ’til all hours, I quit smoking, and I work out on a regular basis. How many more vices do I have to give up, for heaven’s sake?

And speaking of vices, I recently read that chocolate contains cannabinoids, substances that mimic the high of marijuana. The article also stated that you’d have to eat about 25 pounds in one sitting to feel the effects. I’m already signed up as a research subject.