Till Sleep Do Us Part

Almost half of us complain that the tossing and turning of our spouse or partner is a major problem keeping us from sleeping. And it’s no wonder: when researchers monitored couples’ sleep patterns for a recent study, they found that whenever one sleeping partner moved, the other person in bed had a 50 percent chance of being disturbed.

For a quick fix, psychologist Ramani Durvasula recommends pushing together two separate mattresses. This allows you the intimacy of a shared sleeping space, but the tossing and turning done on one mattress doesn’t affect the other mattress.

In the long term, you’ll want to get to the root of your nighttime acrobatics.

Possible causes and solutions

Restless leg syndrome

Your health care practitioner may prescribe supplements and lifestyle changes like increased exercise and heating pads, and may also test you for iron deficiencies.

Muscle aches and pains

Soak in a hot bath before bed. Your partner can also massage painful pressure points with essential oils.

Stress

Journaling your anxieties can release tension. Relaxation therapies like deep breathing may also help. L-theanine supplements may help reduce physical responses to stress, and 5-HTP supplements may increase serotonin production.

Problem #2: Your nose becomes Kenny G in the night

Approximately 45 percent of us snore occasionally, while a quarter of us make it a regular habit. Investigate the underlying causes before asking your partner to invest in earplugs.

Possible causes and solutions

Sleeping positions

Lying on your back creates the highest risk of snoring. Sleep on your side for snoreless ZZZs.

Obstructed nasal airways

Allergies, colds and sinus illnesses make you more likely to snore. Vitamin C, ginger and inhaling steam from a humidifier may help.

Alcohol

An evening drink may soothe the nerves, but alcohol can make snoring worse.

Sleep apnea

This sleep disorder—a common cause of snoring—makes you stop breathing for 10 to 30 seconds at a time. Fortunately, lifestyle changes can make a big impact. If you’re overweight, losing just 10 percent of your weight can dramatically reduce sleep apnea symptoms. Engaging in regular exercise and avoiding alcohol and smoking can also help, but talk to your doctor before attempting to treat this serious disorder.

Problem #3: The sound of a feather landing on a llama somewhere in the Andes is enough to wake up your partner

Okay, so your paramour is a super light sleeper. Despite your best efforts, they’re still waking up on the regular. Here are a few tips for them.

• Use earplugs or noise-canceling headphones.
• Get an air conditioner or bedroom fan that drowns out sound, or try a gadget or app that creates white noise.
• Use carpeting or rugs to help soak up vibrations and muffle sounds like snoring. Bonus: you’ll nail that boho-chic look.
• Install blackout window treatments, which can prevent light from getting in and also insulate the room from outdoor noises.
• Keep your bed away from windows, bathroom-sharing walls or other sources of noise.

Problem #4: You like to stay up late; they want to hit that 6 a.m. spin class

Mismatched schedules and different before-bed habits play a huge role in how well each individual in a relationship sleeps. It all comes down to communication. “Sometimes people think and act as though they have no choice,” says psychotherapist Pandora MacLean-Hoover. “I encourage clients to give another look at whether [an] pattern is fixed or whether there may be room for change.”

Plan around each other’s schedule

Plan ahead. If one person needs to enter the bedroom late at night or get up early in the morning, do as much as possible ahead of time (like setting out work clothes the night before) so you aren’t rummaging around the bedroom and turning lights on and off.

Align your bedtime habits

If one of you likes to watch TV before bed or read a book in bed, talk about it to determine whether that disrupts the other person’s sleep. “Communicate and come to a compromise about when it has to be ‘lights out,’” says Durvasula. “Otherwise, the reading or watching may need to take place in another room so the sleeper can go to sleep.”