Don't Worry

Everyone worries. Will I get the promotion? Will I sell my house? Will my daughter make the hockey team? Do I worry too much? All these thoughts can overwhelm us and affect our quality of life.

Why Worry?

What is worry and why do we do it? Worrying is a state of mind that occurs when you fear that something negative will happen in the future or that you have caused harm to someone in the past.

Thinking through life’s problems is necessary in order to assess a situation, take action, and create a desired outcome. Sometimes, instead of focusing on a solution, we become caught in unresolved concerns. At this stage, we are no longer moving forward because we are caught in a cycle of worrying.

A great deal of time and energy is often spent agonizing over things we are powerless to change. This worrying may stop us from taking risks or achieving our goals. Often, people get into a pattern of focusing on the same worry for months, even years. They live afraid of the “what ifs” and begin to make their life’s decisions out of fear. Mark Twain wisely stated, “I am an old man and have had many troubles, most of which never happened.”

Worried? What to Do

Isolating the underlying fear that is the cause of the worry is crucial. Once the specific fear is isolated, action steps can be taken to overcome it, causing a new sense of freedom and peace, allowing us to accomplish amazing things.

Dr. John Demartini, philosopher, inspirational speaker, and leading authority in personal wellness and development, states, “The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.”

How to Worry Less

1. Isolate the worries that are on your mind the most. These are often the worries that we think about as we are falling asleep or as we wake in the morning.
2. Do this by asking yourself what, specifically, you are afraid of. For example, two mothers may each be worried that their child will get into trouble at school. Although their “worry” is the same, their underlying fear may be very different. Perhaps one mother is concerned about her child missing schoolwork while the other mother worries that people will judge her parenting skills due to her child’s misbehaviour.
3. Ask yourself what the outcome would be of this specific fear coming true. What lessons would you or someone you care about learn? Perhaps the child who was asked to leave class will need extra homework to catch up. From this the child may learn the value of listening in class or working independently.
4. When it becomes clear how a specific outcome would serve both you and the people you care about, there will be nothing left to worry about. Overcoming imagined worries about the future or the past allows you time to be thankful for what is. After
   all, isn’t living life in the present the greatest reward of all?