Book review

Anger—a message for men

by Keith Ashford General Store Publishing House, 2010, 144 pages, $20.00 ISBN: 978-1-897508-87-9

Like it or not, the angry male dominates our society. From major wars to minor road rage—uncontrolled anger seems to fit squarely in the male domain. But not all men are mad at the world. And those who are will find suggestions for change in Anger—a message for men.

To help men chart a way through their anger, author Keith Ashford draws on his personal experiences in facilitating more than 1,000 men’s counselling groups. In short chapters filled with simple observances, Ashford creates a map of understanding to help angry men face their demons.

The simple message is that anger is just an emotion—no different than more pleasant emotions such as love or joy—and therefore can be embraced and controlled. When anger presents its fiery face, men can learn to recognize the signs, then stop and accept the emotion for what it is—just a feeling.

According to Ashford, there’s no need to feel shame at anger, and there’s no need to react with escalating rage. Anger is normal and should be accepted as part of the human experience.

Key to a man’s understanding of this book is his acceptance of the message that negative emotions do not require negative reactions. Within this acceptance lies the heart of change. However, it must be recognized that it’s a tough message to embrace. Anger stimulates the male fight or flight response. For many men, the only acceptable reaction they understand is to fight.

Anger—a message for men provides men who seek enlightenment and change with a practical manual to transform their lives. As Ashford notes, anger cannot be denied, deflected, or danced around; it is a door that men must go through. It’s a door that opens away from inner resistance and into inner peace—as long as the angry man seeks to understand the way forward.

If there is a notable drawback to this book, it’s that male readers must be sincerely open to seeking change. For truly angry men, the ideas and solutions presented may be too esoteric to push through their rage. Yet for men who recognize the need to control their anger and move forward in peace, this book provides valuable lessons that can be read and reread again and again, with each reading providing deeper understanding of the contents within.