A Certain Age

Natalie Dakers, 59, had “a moment of reckoning” at age 50. “I had this idea that the best part of my life was over,” she says. She soon changed her attitude. “I realized, if I kept feeling this way, I’d be doomed by 60. I decided to take control, to make an effort, to get strong and healthy and engaged in the world.”

Good genetics have kept her looking younger than her age, and she admits, “If that goes away, it might get to me. I look in the mirror and think, holy cow, I’m getting older! I remind myself that it’s more important to feel younger, not look younger.” 

Moving into her sixties is another decade milestone—“You’re a ma’am now,” she quips—but one Dakers is approaching with equanimity. “Time is on my mind,” she says. “Every decision: about travel, about health … time is running out to cover all the bases.” Considering that she recently got her motorcycle licence, her time isn’t running out any time soon.

Staying active and vital

Terry Bayuk, 68, credits workouts at Restore Human in Vancouver with helping her maintain her active lifestyle. Her focus is on mobility and injury prevention for kayaking and other outdoor pursuits. “Being in nature, taking in the beauty of my surroundings, appreciating all the shades of green: that’s spirituality to me.”

Her loving, supportive family, including two adult daughters, is part of what keeps Terry ageless, along with her pragmatic attitude. “I have to do a bit more work to keep up, more than when I was 50,” she says about her physique, but prefers to let her face age naturally. “I have girlfriends who do Botox and the lifts, but it’s not for me. No judgement, but I think that vitality and energy come from the spirit you’re giving out. From happiness.” 

To women anxious about getting older, Bayuk advises, “Fall in love with who you are. I still have to remind myself of this. Don’t be so hard on yourself!”

Being connected and grateful

Leslie Harris, 64, is a personal trainer and musician who’s always been “obsessed with longevity.”

Like many women, Harris was swayed by media images of beauty when she was younger. Now she cares less about societal expectations, and consequently, her idea of beauty has changed: “I don’t see age … beauty is in the attitude a lot; smiling is beautiful.” 

Beyond her consistency in exercise and nutrition, Harris makes time every morning to reflect on three things she’s grateful for. Her active social life and work in the music industry keep her connected. “Music is such a healing thing, both for myself and the audience,” she says. She’s worked with people of all ages and says that aging is more about lifestyle than the calendar. “Genetics is a big part of it, but (many people) allow themselves to get old. You have to go out, socialize, take care of yourself, and learn new things.”

These women have taught me it’s better to get ready for healthier aging now, rather than playing catch-up later. Looks aside, we can’t enjoy life if our health and spirits suffer. And while society might minimize the visibility and attractiveness of the older woman, only we can decide to show up and be seen. 

This article was originally published in the May 2020 issue of alive Canada, under the title "A Certain Age."