> Children and Parenting > Emotional and Mental Health

I recently reconnected with a childhood chum whom I hadn’t seen in nearly 20 years. My favourite memory of our time together is when we were nine or 10; we snuck back to the creek to try out her older brothers’ raft.

We tried to pull ourselves across the water by the line that was strung up for the purpose, but didn’t get more than halfway before we, the raft, and our provisions of saltines and peanut butter all ended up in the drink. We couldn’t stop laughing–once we had stopped screaming. We both got in a lot of trouble for that foolish stunt, but the fun was worth it, and the memory of that fun still makes it worth it today.

My childhood was full of semi-dangerous moments like that. Sneaking around construction sites, making fires, building forts out of salvaged lumber and rusty nails, and riding bikes, snowmobiles, dirt bikes, and tractors. Sure, I got my share of scrapes and cuts and bruises, but I never did myself any serious harm. My mother got the worst of it, just by worrying about me. But we lived in the country, and that’s what kids did.

I guess parents today have a different approach, because last week I saw an ad for–get this–baby knee pads. Yep, if the floors are too hard on your baby’s precious knees, you can now shield them from the dangers and discomforts of crawling. The next level is a padded helmet that toddlers can wear to protect their heads in case they do what every toddler does at least 15 times a day–fall down. I am not making this up.

Baby-proofing your home so that your kid doesn’t drink the bleach or pull a boiling pot off the stove is one thing, but between padded helmets, supervised playgroups, rides to school, and playground safety rules, how’s a kid ever supposed to get hurt?

I understand that the world seems like a threatening place sometimes, especially for our kids. Everywhere you turn, there’s another story about a drunk driver or a sexual predator or a toy with lead paint. It’s natural to want to protect our little ones from all those hazards. But the reality is that things aren’t getting much worse–in many cases, they’re getting much safer–but the reporting of safety issues, and our reactions to them, have gone way up.

But kids have to fall down to learn how to walk. They have to make mistakes. They have to get hurt sometimes, and figure stuff out for themselves when they’re left alone in a new situation. That’s how we grow up.

I’m not sure I’d be brave enough today to try that trip across the creek again, but I’m glad I had the chance. Childhood is when we are supposed to be fearless–it’s only with time that we learn to become afraid–and it saddens me that we might be taking that wonderful opportunity away from our kids. Say yes to skinned knees!

Jenn Farrell is a Vancouver writer with a great road-hockey scar.

Source: alive #311, September 2008