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Worrying Ourselves to Death
by author Brooke Broadbent

Have You Ever Tried Counting Your Worries?

While drafting this article I managed to squeeze in worries about my gobbled-down breakfast, my half-baked plans for the rest of the day, and what I can do to ease pain in various aching body parts–to name but a few ever-nagging worries.

I derive no benefit from worrying about the past or about the future. Nevertheless I continue to do it. The time I spend on my worries takes me away from the task at hand. So why do we all worry?

It’s About Survival

Humans are hard-wired to feel agitated when we perceive imminent danger; in short, we are programmed to fear. In the beginning, fear was a good thing; it kept our species alive.

But today our fears are watered down into useless worries. Many of our worries come from imagined rather than real threats that cause us to feel anxious, distressed, or troubled. Oftentimes, our worries are more about thinking, than reacting–the trademark of fear. We gain some pleasure out of worrying because it helps us to feel we are in control.

5 Ways to Stop Worrying

Worry is pervasive. We worry about our thoughts, our memories, and our futures. We even worry about worrying. Let’s move beyond all this worry. Here are five simple steps to help relieve your worries.

1. Move Into Action

As a first step, we can recognize what we worry about and bring our worries into conversation. For example, students who worry about exams can put their worries behind by studying. Simple enough. Others who are worried about major world issues such as poverty, global warming, or war can get into conversations about these topics and join organizations dedicated to alleviating the issues. As a result we mitigate our worries and turn our worry energy into personal action.

2. Count Your Blessings

Research shows that perception, not fact, determines whether we are happy or worried. Each one of us gets to decide how to perceive new situations. For example, a job promotion may be perceived as an opportunity for some, but a heavy responsibility for others. Choose positive–not negative worry-filled–perceptions, and your life will be lighter.

3. Articulate Your Concerns

Move from vague worries and a sense of unease to a clear definition of the situation. Articulate what you want. Create possibilities for you and your life. Engage others in your possibilities. If you are preoccupied about your future, talk to people who have travelled the road that lies ahead of you. Ask them what it was like to move, raise children, lose loved ones, change jobs, and negotiate other difficult life passages.

4. Live Squarely In the Present

Focus on the present and do something you enjoy. Stop regretting the past or projecting into the future. We cannot know what the future will be–or more importantly–how we will react to it when it comes. Reality is a perception coloured by our worries, our regrets, and our dreams. So trundle off on a wonderful hike, dive into a refreshing lake, cuddle someone you love, or paint, write poetry, or play a sport. You can even lose yourself in a book, a movie, or in an intense conversation. Just do whatever you love to do and stop worrying.

5. Learn to Love What Is

Byron Katie, the guru of acceptance or what she calls “loving what is,” has developed a simple process to help us become aware of the realities of life. Katie teaches that, if a situation is causing you stress, it may be your perceptions that are at fault. She offers simple-to-use free tools at thework.org. You can use these tools to change your thinking and accept what is. When we embrace what is, worry and stressful thoughts lose their grip.

If you want to free yourself from negative mind chatter and move beyond worry, stress, and fear, then stop listening to your negative thoughts. Say no to negative concerns.

Excuse me. I’m taking off the rest of the day to lose myself in nature and to stop worrying.

Brooke Broadbent is a credentialed life coach living in Ottawa. brookebroadbent.com

Source: alive #309, July 2008

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Job pressures, family responsibilities, financial pressures, traffic, and time management are just a few of the stressors most of us face on a daily basis. Prescriptions for drugs that are supposed to improve anxiety, mood, and sleep are at an all-time high.
Adapting to Stress
What is stress, exactly? Simply put, it is any change to our normal physiology that can be brought on by a stressor-anything from sudden, traumatic experiences to smaller, ongoing pressures that seem ncontrollable. Even joyous occasions are associated with a degree of stress.
A Day in the Life...
She jumps out of bed; rushes to the bath; notices her belly, avoids the scales; dashes to the kitchen, no time for breakfast, then out the door; grabs a coffee on her way to work; up the elevator; straight to her desk, face like flint, no time for hello, too much to do.
Look on the Bright Side
Recall a day when you woke up in the morning feeling positive? I bet you had a great day. Want more of that?
Yes, You can Care too Much...
A family caregiver, according to the Caregivers Association of BC (caregiverbc.ca), is anyone who provides unpaid care and support to an adult friend or family member who is disabled, chronically ill, frail, or elderly.
Celebrate Life
Oscar Wilde once said, "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. The question is, are you merely surviving from day to day, or are you grasping everything you can from life?
It's Your Life to Live
From crackberries to virtual reality, North Americans are addicted to speed, technology, distraction, achieving, and packing as much as possible into each day. While this lifestyle offers excitement, it does not leave much room for fulfillment, contentment, or health on any meaningful level.
A Season of Stress
It was the Hungarian-born researcher Hans Selye who first began piecing together the puzzle of human stress in the 1930s.
Planning to Ward Off Post-Season Blahs
No one could ever accuse me of being a grinch-the weeks and days leading up to December 25th are a flurry of shopping, baking, and planning. The day itself is always a good time, too-though seldom exactly how I had envisioned it. But then it's over...
Living an Authentic Life
In a world where success is defined by money, and happiness is just a weight-loss plan away, many of us have lost sight of our most valuable asset: our true selves. By living authentically, however, we can reach our potential and experience true happiness.
The Power of a Positive Mindset
I'm often asked for simple tips for achieving optimal health. Here are my three top tips: 1. Make the decision to change; 2. believe in yourself; and 3. apply the necessary strategies to get you there!
Helper's High
Is it good to be good? People express their compassion in different ways. Some volunteer with people. Others volunteer with animals. Although all good works produce health benefits, including improved immunity and reduced anxiety and depression, different activities have different ripple effects.
Volunteering-If It Feels Good, Do It!
Now that January's out of the way-the bills are paid, my sanity's relatively intact, the gift wrap's finally put away-I'm ready to tackle one of my goals for the year, which is to take on some kind of volunteer work.
A Good Place to Work
Money matters-but it's not the only thing we care about. To ensure employee retention and satisfaction, enlightened employers know the value of developing a healthy workplace culture.
A Conversation with k.d. lang
k.d. lang has sung with the best-Tony Bennett, Roy Orbison, Loretta Lynn-not bad for a girl from Consort, Alberta, population 739.
You May Be Physically Fit...But Are You Financially Fit?
Sue and Mark and their two children live an active, healthy lifestyle. Yet Sue suffers from insomnia and tension headaches and she's had a series of colds over the past year. Sue visited the doctor recently. The diagnosis? Stress. Seems that anxiety about the family's finances is making her sick.
Diagnosis: Depression
In my opinion, all cancer patients are heroes. Fate has given them a difficult road to travel. Cancer rivets them-and us, if they are our loved ones-to an emotional merry-go-round. Some cancer patients succumb to grief and suffer from depression. However, there are things they can do to face and manage the challenges on the journey ahead.
Relax
As a working mom trying to balance all of my responsibilities, tension can feel overwhelming at times. That's when these five stress-busting exercises can really help. After 10 minutes invested in any one of these exercises, I usually feel relaxed and ready for anything. Try these quick, easy ways to combat stress and anxiety. You'll find they fit easily into even the busiest day.
Take a Deep Breath
Stress is pervasive in our frenzied lives, but how many of us know how to truly relax? To find the answer to this question, I talked to stress management guru Eli Bay and discovered that you don't have to be lying on a beach in the Bahamas to unwind.
Daily Spiritual Rituals
We've all known people who, despite the challenges and stresses they face in their daily lives, manage to project calmness and serenity that belie the surrounding maelstrom. Have you ever wondered how they achieve such tranquility?
High Anxiety
Your heart is racing and your palms sweat. Perhaps you're worried about that big speech you have to give or you're rushing to meet a demanding work deadline. There may be another much likelier-yet far less understood-explanation.
Packrats and Clutterbugs
You walk through the front door and immediately encounter the clutter-a stack of unopened mail sitting on the hall table, along with a tangled heap of gloves, scarves, hats, keys, maps, umbrellas, and shopping bags.
Sunday Dinner
In the many years that have elapsed since moving out of my childhood home, Sunday dinner held about as much meaning as dinner any other day of the week. I ate whatever I could scrounge up, or went to a restaurant, or, for a rather debauched period, just ate chips in front of the TV until it was time to go to the nightclub again.
A Story of Survival Love
Deeply in love, Sara and I married 17 years ago. Three years later, Sara was diagnosed with mild depression, and over the next few years she was re-diagnosed several times with ever more serious conditions.
Building a Health Reserve
Hoping to be a healthy elder? Then stock your health bank as faithfully as your financial one. Healthy aging requires preparation. This month's Research Watch discusses what you need to know to build up your health reserves for a long and healthy life.
The Sandwich Generation
When Naz Deravian became a mom for the first time, she found herself embracing her new baby girl, Luna, and her new role, with utter joy. But the 36-year-old actor was also worried about her own mom, who at the time was undergoing treatment for breast cancer.
Imagine Your Way to Better Health
In my darker moments-when bills, work, and deadlines all conspire against me-I have a fantasy. In it, I return to a remote spot on the Mediterranean coast where gentle waves lap against a sleepy shoreline and vast, open skies arch overhead. Everything is blue, sensual, and calm.
What is Gratitude?
"Dear God, we paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing. Television character Bart Simpson's dinner table blessing is inappropriate, but we relate to it. Like Bart, we are often ungrateful because we feel a sense of entitlement. This Thanksgiving let's put gratitude on the menu.
Sampling the Fountain of Youth
I caught the end of a stand-up comedian's routine the other night while channel surfing. He joked that plastic surgery "makes you look young in the same way that a drag queen looks like a woman. There's just something a little off...
Stand Up to Back Pain
Most back and neck pain is not the result of an isolated injury but of ongoing stress. Our spines and back muscles work together to hold us up, but we must care for them to avoid strains, sprains, and soreness. Here are five strategies for banishing back pain, safely and naturally.
Remember Rhodiola
A herb that was widely used by ancient Nordic seafarers is still being used by monks of the Himalayas. The therapeutic properties of this Arctic herb, rhodiola (Rhodiola rosea), have also been impressing modern researchers.
The Spectrum
Dean Ornish is a high-profile name where alternative medicine is concerned. A 30-year veteran of North America's controversial diet wars, Ornish is consistently lauded by the scientific community for his work in reversing heart disease and other illnesses through dietary and lifestyle changes.
Seasonal Stress-Busting
The holiday season can be a time of comfort and joy, but it can also be a time of stress as we cope with overeating, overspending, traffic jams, holiday travel, office parties, and family dramas.
All I Want for Christmas
When I asked my daughter about what to write for December's column, her immediate reply was "snowmen. While that's probably not the ideal basis for an entire article, it did get me thinking.
Mud is Not a Four-letter Word
Mud has a dirty reputation. Soil, mud, dirt-they're words associated with the unpleasant side of life. We say someone has a soiled reputation. When someone is in trouble, his name is mud. When people are speaking unfavourably of each other, they're dishing dirt.
St. John's Wort
After suffering from depression for years, Kelly Martin finally decided enough was enough. He dragged himself to his doctor's office, and 10 minutes later the Calgary business manager walked away with a prescription for antidepressants.
Tune into Your body's Rhythm
What images come to mind when you hear or see the word meditation? How many of those images include movement? For the average person, not many.
Volunteers for the Environment
We are so closely connected to other forms of life on our planet that survival without them is unthinkable. And although we have the power of intellect, we can never consider ourselves as superior. On the contrary, we need these species in order to survive.
Caregiver's Thrive Guide
Relieving stress helps you stay healthy as a caregiver—because if you’re not taking good care of yourself, you can’t take good care of others.
Stress Less
Many Canadians suffer from stress. It’s the root cause of numerous health challenges we experience. Finding ways to reduce stress is essential to improve our health and our quality of life.
Empowering the Feminine
Although its origins are uncertain, one theory is that belly dancing was performed to strengthen women’s abdominal muscles for childbirth.
Beat Winter Blues
SAD is characterized by fall and winter depression, excessive sleep (hypersomnia), increased appetite with carbohydrate cravings, and weight gain, which alternates with normal moods and behaviour in the spring and summer.

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