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The Power of Love
by author Jamie Neely, BSc, DC

It’s not just an old-fashioned love song. Relationships have the power to nurture our wellness more than any other factor and Valentine’s Day gives us an opportunity to pause and reflect on our connections with others.

With the constant stress of busy schedules and financial pressures, the bonds we have with others sometimes suffer. Ironically, it is the people we are closest to who most often feel the effects of our increased stress level. We may find ourselves being a little short-tempered with our partners, children, or friends or we may simply withdraw and isolate ourselves.

Luckily, we set aside a day in February each year that gives us an opportunity to reconnect with those who are close to us. The added benefit, of course, is that we can literally improve the health of all those involved–including ourselves.

People Who Need People

It is impossible to exist without interacting with other people and it’s the quality and quantity of these interactions that play a dominant role in our health. Based on a landmark Pennsylvania study, co-author Stewart Wolf, MD, suggests that emotional health and a sense of community have a greater impact on heart disease than smoking and a diet high in saturated (animal) fat combined.

Dr. Wolf states, “People are nourished by people.” In fact, three ten-year studies concluded that, “…emotional stress was more predictive of death from cancer and cardiovascular disease than smoking; people who were unable to effectively manage their stress had a 40 percent higher death rate than non-stressed individuals.”

Love Hurts

Ask anyone about romance, marriage, or friendship and they will tell you there is definitely some work and stress involved in nurturing these relationships. It takes energy to pursue and maintain these special connections. There are inevitable down days for all the up days along the relationship’s path.

Because they provide the drive for growth–the tool that allows us to know more about ourselves–relationships are essential to our life. If living life successfully involves constant growth, then we need to put energy into our relationships or we risk allowing them to “die on the vine.”

More Than a Feeling

Ultimately, a successful relationship involves sharing emotions. How well we manage the ups and downs of our emotions and those of the relationship dynamic is now understood to have the greatest impact on our well-being and, in particular, our heart health.

In nature, animals that adapt to rapidly changing circumstances are those who survive and thrive. Humans are no exception. In our global society, the emotional aspects of our relationships provide the unique tools that allow us to adapt, learn, and grow.

One of these emotional components comes from helping our loved ones perceive stressful events from other points of view. These efforts, which are motivated by our wish to be helpful, may be challenging but serve as a powerful tool for personal growth.

This Valentine’s Day show those you love that it is, indeed, a many- splendoured thing.

February is a great month to kick-start your emotional health. Nurturing that special relationship might be just what the doctor ordered.

Try some of these recommendations to spice things up and help your heart by helping those you love.

Write down a list of seven things that your special someone loves. Think about what they like to talk about, what they think about, what they spend their money on, and what they spend their time doing. If this doesn’t come easily ask–this will show you care enough to find out. Consider this a good exercise in perception skills.

Create a special evening–Valentine’s Day can be just the start–and include as many of your loved one’s favourite things as you can.

If one of those favourite things happens to be beyond your budget, then use your imagination. For example, if your partner has always dreamed of a romantic tropical retreat, create one in your own living room with decorations, food, drinks, and music. Have fun with it.

Jamie Neely, BSc, DC, is a chiropractor, professional speaker, and author who lives in London, Ontario. He helps others to live a healthy, inspired life at every age. See www.pure-health.com.

Source: alive #280, February 2006